Stupid Boys

You know the saying "You never know what you got till it's gone." Well, its true. He's losing me. I'm losing him. I'm letting him go. I can't hold on any longer. I can't keep holding myself back. I have to move on and forget. He will forever be just a memory. I wish I didn't mean these words. I wish that he wasn't losing me and that I wasn't losing him. I wish I didn't have to hold on. I wish he was holding on for me. More like I wish he was holding me. If I could just be in his arms everything would be ok. I wouldn't have to do this. I don't think I mean all these words. I know I don't. I don't know what to do. I've never been so lost before. It's all because of one stupid boy. One stupid boy that is breaking my heart. Yet he is the only one who can mend it. I hate this. I hate feeling that there is something between us but we're being forced by other people to forget that feeling. A feeling that could be more than just friends. That feeling is Love. True love. Love is just a word until you find someone to give it a definition. I think I've found that someone. Maybe I'm wrong. But just maybe I'm right. If only people knew what was going on inside of me. Things would be so different. But it's not that way. No one knows about all this pain, hurt, loneliness, and confusion that is raging inside me. No one but me.

I've been sitting here for like 10 minutes but I had't typed a single letter. I suppose its cuz my eyes have been busy staring at my phone and typing other messages. Well, life has been alright I guess. And I am totally not doing good at this whole blogging thing. So, at the moment I dont have any poems that I feel like writing or anything. I think that trying to let out my feelings onto this screen isn't as gratifying as it is to write it all out on paper. Or maybe I'm just not having any emotional complexes at the moment. Wait, I can feel one coming...
Being so far apart from him is killing me! Not being able to see him really hurts me and not being able to be with him is breaking me. But I'm glad now that he is at least available and that we could really be together if we wanted to. Its just out of respect, courtesy, common sense, and in fear that our lives would immediately become endangered that we aren't together...I don't know what I would have done if he wouldn't have been ok in his wreck. I'm not sure if I could live without him. I'm not even making this up. So, Lord thank you so much for sparing his life and that he is ok. He is pretty much one of my best friends. I don't think he knows how much he means to me. I hope I mean as much to him as he does to me. I honestly don't think I do. But I miss him. If anything I just want to sit and talk with him. Just me and him. He's easy to talk to. I could talk to him for hours. I can't believe I'm writing a post about him. I wish he could read it but then again I'm glad he can't. I think I would be saying to much. It might freak him out. But as John Mayer says we need to "Say what you need to say..." So, I don't know. I just fear he doesn't feel like this towards me. Well, not as much passion I guess is the word. I hope I can seem him soon cuz I really need to. I'm having withdrawals lol jk. It's just that I really miss him. Peace yo <3>

Hello There

Well, the name be Sky and this is basically just a private journal. My journals, I feel, the ones in my notebooks, are not very private. I fear that someone will discover them and read about my life before I'm ready to let them. So, I'm hoping this will be slightly more private. It'll also be faster. Seeing how I can type a lot faster than I can write. So, basically I like to write my own form of poetry. I don't follow any guidelines except the ones that I make for myself. I also may just write and it may not be in poetry form. So I hope this goes well. Peace yo <3