Fast forward

So now I'm going to stop telling how our little love story got started and fast forward to current. This is what I wrote about a little fight we got into:

I don't know what the hell I'm feeling. I mean shit I want to hang out with my friends sometime! What's so wrong about that? I only have two weekends left before I'm gone for a freakin month. I mean maybe I'm just a shitty girlfriend. One who doesn't ever listen, is unreliable, and isn't serious about our relationship. I don't know...I mean sometimes it would be nice just to be...free. Just having to only worry about me. To be able to do what I want, when I want, and with who I want. But...fuck. I have this guy. Cooper. And if I fuck things up with him I will lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. The one guy who is perfect to me. If I lose him I know I will never be able to find a guy as great as he is. Not only is he a great guy, he loves me. He treats me like I'm a freakin Queen. He treats me far better than I deserve. And I for sure don't deserve to have him. On the other hand, I can't imagine being without him and I don't want to ever be without him. Fuck. I just want to feel something! Anything! Something passionate. Even if it's anger or passionately in love. It's like I'm the only one who ever fucks up in our relationship. He's just sensitive, maybe I should be more considerate of his feelings. Even though it's me being selfish a lot of the time...but I really do need nights with just my girlfriends! I just don't know...

But what I do know is that every time I see him everything becomes all right. When I pull up in his driveway and he comes out and hugs and kisses me...it's like everything else just fades away and for those few moments it's just me and him. It's like everything is okay with the world for that short period of time. Like we're invincible and that we will be together forever. That nothing will ever come between us. But then I leave and life sets back in. But who knows maybe together we are invincible. Maybe, hopefully, we will be together forever. Maybe this is just the start.

Wanna go get a coke?

Monday, we had all just gotten back to school from being home for the county fair. He simply texts me and asks if I'd like to go get a coke with him. I say yes and he picks me up in front of the dorms.

I was nervous, yet excited. He's sooo freakin cute! So we go to sonic and get a coke. We have a nice conversation. He's one of the funniest guys I know. He can always make me laugh.

He just happened not to have chemistry lab, but his friend Dusty did so we had time to kill before we needed to pick him up. We drove around for awhile and just talked. Then we went to a park in Mesilla. We get out of his truck and he comes around and grabs my hand. This definitely surprised me, but I liked it. We walked to the swings and started swinging. We did that for awhile and then it was just me swinging and he was standing beside me. Then I stop swinging and I'm standing face to face with him. Then it happens.

He leans in and kisses me :)

First kisses are so exciting, yet kinda awkward. But I can tell you that it was perfect :) Soon we get back in the truck to head back to get his friend. When we get there he's still in class so we walk around and kiss some more. At this point, we're just having fun and trying to figure out each others' kissing style. Eventually, his friends get done and he drops me off at the dorms.

I look back now and think how beautiful, exciting, and innocent that day was :)

If we had only known

As I mentioned in my previous post I had been talking to Cooper since April of last year. We talked all through the summer. He always said how excited he was that I was coming to school at state and how we would have to hang out. He always flirted with me and when he was in Hawaii he would tell me how he wished he was on the beach with a hot blonde. That was in reference to me lol One time I went to Albuquerque to register for my classes at NMSU. I was texting him and told him I was in ABQ to register for classes and he freaked out! It was funny, but I reassured him that I was for serious going to NMSU. From then I kinda realized that maybe he was serious about me...then he went to Canada and then to Africa for a month and I moved on to other things.

Going into college I had the mentality that I was going to be rebellious. I was going to do everything my parents taught me not to do and wouldn't want me to be doing. Partying. Drinking. Getting with the guys. I admit that at the first of the semester I was successful at this. I went to parties, got drunk, hooked up, and talked to guys.

That first week of school was the fair. I had one class on Thursday then I was going home for the weekend so I could go to the fair. I got to hang out with my girlfriends for one last time before we all went back to college. So my friends and I decided we were going to grab something to eat at Long John Silvers (which was not characteristic of us. we never eat there. spur of the moment decision). When we walked through the doors there sat Cooper and some other people. That's how much attention I paid to everyone else. All I knew was that Cooper was sitting there. And oooh was he lookin' good or what! So I went over and made small talk with him for a little bit then went back to my girls. I had gotten a hint from another friend that he would be there but I didn't know for sure.

That night Josh Abbott was performing at our fair. So us girls were going to have a good time and hang out with our good friends. Which we successfully did. We did venture over to watch some motorcross to scout for some hot guys but that didn't last long. We went back to the concert and of course he was there. I danced with him and he's such a great dancer! He held my hand as he led me to the dance floor. I knew I liked him but I didn't think much of it. Then we talked for awhile as we stood outside trying to cool off. I didn't get to hang out with him as much as I wanted. Mainly, because I was single and we had boys to look for. So the rest of the night I enjoyed time with my girls secretly wishing I could have spent more time with him.

The next Monday when we all get back to school is when things between me and Cooper really got started...

Changes

I really don't even know where to begin. I went off to college and my whole world changed the moment my parent's drove off. Finally, I was free. I was independent. I would live life how I wanted and make my own decisions.

Throughout the summer Rawley and I had a complex relationship. We would hang out and have a good time. Then the next thing I know we aren't talking. This occurred throughout the summer. I was really confused. All I knew was that I wanted Rawley and I to be on the same page and to be friends again. One day we went at it and hashed it out and ended up resolving things. After that we were friends again. However, college came and I moved away. We rarely talked at all just because we were so busy and trying to adjust to our new ways of life. We really just drifted apart...

I had been talking to this guy named Cooper, since April of that year. I've known Cooper over the years and had always been very attracted to him. For one, he's really handsome. He's also a super funny guy. He always was making people laugh and flirting with the girl's. I remember thinking one summer that someday I was going to make him mine.

He's a year older than me and was already at college. My friend had went to visit her boyfriend who happened to be one of Cooper's best friends. I guess my name came up in conversation and Cooper made some comment about how he thought I was very pretty. Kaitlen told me this and it gave me hope that something could possibly happen between Cooper and I.

Things Have Changed...

All I can say is wow....sooo much time has passed since I last posted!! Wayyy too much time. I've already completed my freshman year of college!! And let me tell you that things have completely changed since my last post. I just went through and read all of my old posts...it brought back some old and forgotten emotions. Hopefully, soon I'll try to catch this blog up. Probably with one summary post and then continue from there. I have sooo much I could write about. I've changed. Things have changed. People have changed.

I'm really glad I have this blog though...and hopefully I will begin posting again.
I'll write soon!! Peace <3 Sky