So now I'm going to stop telling how our little love story got started and fast forward to current. This is what I wrote about a little fight we got into:
I don't know what the hell I'm feeling. I mean shit I want to hang out with my friends sometime! What's so wrong about that? I only have two weekends left before I'm gone for a freakin month. I mean maybe I'm just a shitty girlfriend. One who doesn't ever listen, is unreliable, and isn't serious about our relationship. I don't know...I mean sometimes it would be nice just to be...free. Just having to only worry about me. To be able to do what I want, when I want, and with who I want. But...fuck. I have this guy. Cooper. And if I fuck things up with him I will lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. The one guy who is perfect to me. If I lose him I know I will never be able to find a guy as great as he is. Not only is he a great guy, he loves me. He treats me like I'm a freakin Queen. He treats me far better than I deserve. And I for sure don't deserve to have him. On the other hand, I can't imagine being without him and I don't want to ever be without him. Fuck. I just want to feel something! Anything! Something passionate. Even if it's anger or passionately in love. It's like I'm the only one who ever fucks up in our relationship. He's just sensitive, maybe I should be more considerate of his feelings. Even though it's me being selfish a lot of the time...but I really do need nights with just my girlfriends! I just don't know...
But what I do know is that every time I see him everything becomes all right. When I pull up in his driveway and he comes out and hugs and kisses me...it's like everything else just fades away and for those few moments it's just me and him. It's like everything is okay with the world for that short period of time. Like we're invincible and that we will be together forever. That nothing will ever come between us. But then I leave and life sets back in. But who knows maybe together we are invincible. Maybe, hopefully, we will be together forever. Maybe this is just the start.
No comments:
Post a Comment